We All Have Capacity: A Conversation with Rachael Curfew on Mental Wellness

@rachaelcurfew

Rachael Curfew didn’t set out to be a coach—she set out to find answers. When she and her family faced mental health struggles, she tried everything: therapy, different techniques, and all the "right" things. But nothing seemed to fully solve the problem. One day, she made a decision: "I’m not living like this anymore." That determination led her to study strategic intervention, a coaching approach that helped her transform not just her own life but the lives of countless others. Now, after more than a decade of working with clients worldwide, she helps people break through their mental roadblocks, strengthen relationships, and build healthier, happier lives. We sat down with Rachael to talk about mental wellness—what’s changing, what still needs work, and how we can all take small steps toward a healthier mind.

Understanding Mental Health

Mental health struggles are common, but Rachael emphasizes one simple truth: “We all have capacity, and we’re all different.” That means stress, anxiety, and tough emotions are part of life—not signs that something is wrong with us. The problem comes when those emotions stay too high or too low for too long. Rachael compares mental wellness to a heartbeat: "Ups and downs are normal—that’s called living. But if we spike too high or crash too low for extended periods, that’s when we need support." One of the biggest misconceptions she sees is people believing their struggles mean they’re broken. In reality, these challenges are part of being human. The key is recognizing when we need extra tools and support.

The Shift in Mental Health Conversations

Rachael has seen major progress in how we talk about mental health. "Even in my lifetime, there have been massive strides. Therapy is more accepted, coaching is growing, and there are so many tools available—podcasts, books, communities." But there’s still work to do. The biggest thing we can do, she says, is support those who are brave enough to ask for help. "When someone is vulnerable enough to say, ‘I need help,’ we need to meet them with support, not silence."

Supporting Those Who Step Forward

Rachael acknowledges the tremendous progress that’s been made in mental wellness conversations, but she stresses that there’s still a long way to go. Despite the strides, there are still many individuals facing challenges—because life is tough. She emphasizes the importance of supporting those who are brave enough to seek help. "So massive strides have been made. But of course, we still have people with so many challenges and problems because life is a lot, and life is hard. The number one thing that still needs to happen is we need to be really supportive of people who are being vulnerable and brave, stepping out of their comfort zones, and saying, ‘I need help.’"

She believes that the more we can support these individuals—whether it’s through listening, encouraging, or connecting them with resources—the better we make the world, even if it’s just the small world around us. Supporting therapists, coaches, authors, podcasters, and others who are working to offer help is also critical. "The more we support them—showing up, doing the work, marketing for them, whatever we can do—the more we help ensure that when people are struggling, they know that there’s help. There is a tool. There is a resource. And we want to help you, as providers."

When Stress Becomes a Sign of Something More Serious

As a coach, Rachael knows that distinguishing between normal stress and something more serious, like anxiety or depression, can be difficult. She explains that everyone has a personal range of stress tolerance, and understanding when that range is being exceeded is key. "Every one of us kind of lives in this range. Our capacity for handling things is different—some of us can handle more than others. But it doesn’t mean one person is healthier or better than the other. It just means that we all have different capacities."

When stress begins to push us outside our capacity—when it lasts beyond a few days and turns into weeks or even months—Rachael says it's a signal that we need help. The anxiety may spike too high, or we may fall into depression, and the key is recognizing when it’s hard to return to that "middle zone" of normal functioning. "I like to tell my clients to imagine their mental state like a heartbeat. A heartbeat naturally goes up and down—those spikes and dips are a normal part of life. Life throws us stress, and we handle it. That’s okay. But if those spikes go too high or those dips go too low, and they’re not returning to normal, that’s when we need to take action and seek support."

She emphasizes that if the emotional highs or lows don’t return to that balanced "middle zone"—or if we begin to numb ourselves through distractions like addiction or social media—it’s another red flag. "If we stay numb, like flatlining in an emotional sense, that’s when we stop truly living. We might feel dead inside, disconnected from the world. Both the extreme highs, the extreme lows, and the numbness are all signals to pay attention to."

Rachael’s advice is clear: If you’re struggling to get back to your emotional "middle zone," it’s time to seek help. Normal ups and downs are part of life, but when they’re prolonged or too extreme, they require attention.

Small Steps Toward Mental Wellness

So where do we start? Rachael keeps it simple:

• Practice gratitude. "It might sound cliché, but gratitude brings us into the present. And in the present, there’s no fear or anxiety—just peace."

• Take care of your body. What we eat, how much we move, and how we rest all impact our mental well-being. Small, consistent habits make a big difference.

• Find something you love. "Life gets busy, but make time for something that lights you up. It matters."

• Get outside.Nature is grounding, whether it’s a walk around the block or a weekend hike.

• Be a friend. "If you don’t have a friend, be a friend. Connection is one of the most powerful things for mental health."

You’re Not Alone

If you’re struggling but don’t know where to start, Rachael’s advice is simple: "Tell someone. We all like to think others will notice when we’re struggling, but people don’t always see the signs. Speak up. There are tools, resources, and people who want to help."

And for those who aren’t struggling, she encourages a simple daily check-in: Who around me might need support?" If we pay attention, we’ll always see someone who needs kindness. Sometimes, just asking ‘How are you—really?’ can change everything."

Mental wellness isn’t about perfection. It’s about understanding ourselves, supporting each other, and using the resources around us to grow. "There are so many tools and resources—podcasts, books, conversations—that can help us understand what’s going on in our own experience and how we can help others when they’re struggling, too."

The journey to mental wellness starts small. And the good news? We all have capacity.

We are so thankful for Rachael. We would like to announce that Rachael will be presenting at the Women's Wellness Summit on April 26! We'd love to see you all there.